Have You Seen My Happiness?

Friday is always rewarding after a work week. I made the decision today that I was going to be lazy. I wasn't going to do a darn thing tonight. Netflix, a couple of neglected magazines, and I made a very attractive party of 3. Well, that is until I lasted through one show and half a magazine. Who reads those anymore anyway? So here we are just the two of us. I'm sharing my most private thoughts and you are reading them.

I was thinking a lot about what I wanted to write tonight and I just couldn't help but laugh. Before I sat down to update this blog, I did a few things around the house, painted my nails, cooked dinner, hemmed a fantastic black dress to wear out tomorrow, and told myself that I could write in the morning. It didn't work.

I have been working on my book lately and doing research on how to help people find their happiness. It has taken me on a journey through my own life to understand how I found mine and most importantly, how I keep it. My mom had a lot to do with teaching me happiness. It takes a strong person to defy misery sometimes; to make the choice to be happy. She taught me to take a stand for what you want in life and to be strong no matter what comes your way. There were good times and bad times, however, she held her head high and had our butts in church every Sunday no matter what.

My dad, he was a tough man. He was in the military, was a police officer, and had the sense of humor of a dirty old man. Between my mother's strength and my dad's crazy adventures, we laughed right through a lot of tears growing up. I was the oldest at home and his disciplinary target 95% of the time. My younger brother and sister had a much easier childhood than I did and I would like to think I took one "for the team" on A LOT of occasions. All I had to do was think about sneaking out or going to a party and 10 seconds later would hear, "YOU'RE GROUNDED!" through the bedroom door as he left for his graveyard shift. I was perplexed every time. How did he know?

Aside from his very strict regulations he had these spurts of adventure. We lived on Hilton Head Island and if you have ever been there, you know its 80% golf courses and bike paths. He would come home after his graveyard shift and make us go for a swim or early bike ride before school. Oh I hated it! I didn't want to get out of bed before 5am and I certainly did not want to watch the sun come up on the ocean after riding bikes to the beach. I was a teenager and didn't have time for such nonsense. I went bitching all the way.  I thought I was miserable and now, they are some of the fondest memories of my entire life.

As I grew older, I struggled with finding my own happiness like we all do. I had to learn to balance adventure and responsibility. I learned that you need the right people in your corner to make it easier and the wrong people will make you miserable. I learned to be good to myself, to laugh at my imperfections and respect the differences in others instead of comparing myself to them. You have to push judgment and criticism aside and believe in the good parts of people. I once had someone tell me that living that way was crazy and I told him he was right. No one said a little crazy was a bad thing.

I do not want an ordinary life. I want adventure. I want 5am bike rides and sunrises and to sneak out on a golf course to run through the sprinklers. I want to talk to people in the grocery store and believe that there is good that can be found in everyone. Sometimes that good is better at a distance. I can appreciate the beauty of a lion without getting in the cage with it.

Let me pull this all together so that it is a blog entry and not a chapter. The point I want to make is this:
There will be hard times. There will be sad times but, like life, happiness is a journey. Joy is an evolution. You have to keep your thirst for it to allow you to be strong in the tough times. Surround yourself with people that love and appreciate you. Wear red lipstick and a black dress for no reason at all. Most importantly, remember the hopes and dreams of that person staring back at you when you look in the mirror. Explore who you are on the inside and stop worrying so much about what everyone else is doing.

Look for the happiness in the moment instead of the fond memories of your past. This will allow you to find a better world and all of the adventures this life has to offer.