Four
years ago, I was running late to a family event. I was irritated that I
had to travel all the way to a different valley after work, in traffic,
to make it for my brother's college graduation. My little brother, that
snowboarding, free spirited, dad of two was about to graduate. I
thought about coming up with an excuse to not go. He wouldn't miss me
and he certainly didn't need me there. I was happy for him and his
accomplishment, but, was concerned with the traffic and how long it
would take me to get there and then, I had to get home. My mom gave me a
guilt trip about showing up and I knew that an excuse would never get
me out of this one.
The truth is, I never realized how much of an
accomplishment that would be. At the age of 25, my brother was diagnosed
with an aggressive brain tumor. He sat in a doctor's office and was
told that they would do everything they could and, finally, assured him
that this would eventually take his life. And here I sat, worried about
running late and traffic.
I showed up to this big chapel with rows
and rows of graduates. When I sat with my family, I immediately looked
for him and found him. At 6'5 with big blue eyes and amazing eyelashes
any woman would kill for, he towered above everyone else as they stood. I
was his older sister and in that moment, he was my mentor and my hero.
When diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, he didn't close the blinds
and eat chocolate the way I would have. In fact, he chose to return to
school and get his GED and then his degree in Graphic Design.
Over
the last couple of years, his seizures had gotten worse and there were
different types. He was like a box of chocolates and we never knew what
we were going to get. But, we did know that we would get his smile and
his "screw it" attitude when things got tough. His health had declined
to the point that there were no more back flips on the slopes. There
were no midnight visits to my house because he was in the area and
wanted to see his sister...even though I had to work at 8am the next
morning.
He lived life to the fullest and embraced the moment. Once,
when he had a seizure in Sam's Club and landed on a TV display, we sat
in the ER and laughed about what the people must have thought to see him
laying on a couple of TVs. I'm not sure if he got stitches that time,
but leaving work early and rushing to be there with him and my mom was
all I could remember.
So yes, he did what most people DON'T do when
life throws you a pile of shit. He said, "I think I will go back to
school and get my degree in something I love."
Eventually his
seizures and tumor were so bad that he forgot a lot of what he had
learned but, damn you cancer, he got that degree. He accomplished what
most would have deemed impossible.
He taught me so many things about
pain and suffering, and as I write this, I can't stop the tears flowing
from my soul. You see, we buried him last year. That damn cancer won the
last battle, but, my dear, sweet, loving, blue eyed brother won the
war.
I miss him every day and I have his graduation picture hanging
in my home to always remember that there is NOTHING we cannot achieve
with determination and the belief that all is possible.
Thank you Facebook for the video of the moment that I didn't miss because I was worried about trivial stuff.
LIFE IS SHORT. If you aren't moving towards your goals today, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
-Dedicated to Kevin Allen McClure - May you snowboard through the clouds until I see you again.
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