Waiting for the Storm to Pass

I walked outside tonight to look at the sky before the sun set. I love the way it looks after the storm has passed. It’s not as hot tonight and the clouds are picking up all the colors of the setting sun. It rained all day today and the air is thick with moisture. I love the sunshine, but, the dry Arizona desert has made me love rainy days, like today, so much more. I stand in the rain and smell the raindrops as they evaporate from the hot cement in my driveway. My dogs huddle in the garage and I am right out in the middle of it.

As I stood there and watched the colors and clouds change, I started thinking about the storms in our own lives. I am not sure I enjoy running out into those. We do everything we can to avoid them most of the time. Sometimes, that even includes lying to ourselves or ignoring our truth. For me, the storm is always a little slap in the face. I am a forever optimist and strive to see the good in others and situations. It doesn’t always work and then, I deal with being hurt or angry. I know that I am not alone. We all go through stormy weather. There we are standing in the middle of it and wondering if it will ever pass. 

I struggle with anger and hurt as much as the next person. It takes time for me to knock it. In those moments, we have a choice. We can hold on to it or we can let it go. Letting it go doesn’t mean running back to the person or the situation that has hurt you. We do that far too often. The more important thing to do is let the hurt and anger go and throw that baby out with the bath water. You are allowed to remove people from your life that have caused you pain. That isn’t enough though. The residual feelings will keep you up at night if you let it. The question is how do you get past it all?

So here we go…You have to put you first. That is easier said than done, but, if someone has hurt you, they didn’t care enough not to. Their feelings and perspective were more important. Every romantic comedy or fairytale points to the fact that, somehow, this person will miss you when you are gone and regret their actions. Oh, let’s be honest for a moment. If that person was your person, they never would have hurt you in the first place. Do not hang on to a sinking ship. It will drag you to the depths of the abyss.

Our friends and love ones make choices that can hurt more than we imagined, but, holding on to the pain hurts us, not them. When we allow their actions to reflect on our self-worth, we are setting ourselves up for the requirement of external validation.

You are the master of your soul and you determine your worth. It is one of the most beautiful things we can do for ourselves and yet, we all struggle with the concept. The actions of other people are about them not you. If you can make that shift and realize that you are in the cross fire and not the target, you will free yourselves so much faster.  

It is okay to be mad. Get mad and feel bad for a minute, an hour, a day and then, get over it. You are worth so much more than the negative repercussions of bad decisions made by the people you loved the most.

Be strong…let me say that again…BE STRONG. No one can take away the beauty that you bring to this earth. Forgive the actions of others that bring you pain. You will never allow yourself to be open to the beautiful relationships that are waiting for you if you hold on to the pain and regret of thinking someone was better than what they were.

I am not saying that we need to run out into the middle of the storms that come upon us, however, we do need to embrace the lesson and understand that they will pass. Find beauty in the moment and sometimes, you just have to come to terms with the fact that you dodged a bullet.

Be good to yourself and forget the people that didn’t see you enough to realize what you were when they had the chance. Your storms will pass and the colors will be as amazing as the sky was tonight.

Until next time, be good to you and the people that deserve your love.