Release It and Let It Go - June 12, 2017
The experiences we have in life leave
imprints on us. The love we received or didn’t receive from the people
that were supposed to love us unconditionally, the hurt of life’s losses
or sad times, the love that we feel for another person, the laughter we
experience, the joy of being a parent, or maybe, the despair of wanting
children and never having them. Regardless of our life’s journey, there
are things that mold our beliefs about ourselves and the life we have.
Sometimes, in the course of that journey, we forget to love ourselves. We don’t remember that most important thing that makes the biggest difference.
I remember being in my late 30’s and realizing that I would not be able to have children. My mom, the forever optimist said, “Maybe there is still a chance. Maybe there is hope that it will happen for you.” I knew in my heart that the one thing I had wanted my entire life, would not be realized. For a while, there was an empty spot in my heart and soul. I was that crazy kid that wanted a whole football team. I wanted to grow up, meet the man of my dreams, settle into a quiet little village and spend my days baking pies and doing homework with the kids, tucking all those babies in at night, and then sitting outside, with my amazing husband, looking at the stars and enjoying the life and family we had created. That was my dream. It was all I ever wanted. Now, here I sat realizing that it wasn’t going to be that fairy tale. I didn’t know how to overcome the pain and sadness I felt or the sense that I was somehow less of a woman. Having kids seemed like the easiest thing to do but, it was a party that I would never have an invitation to.
I wanted to give up. I wanted to sit in the dirt and kick and scream because life threw me a curve ball that I didn’t expect. I was so angry. I was angry at God, myself, my body, and everything else I could be angry at. I even got pretty upset with all those damn diaper commercials and stupid baby food aisles in the grocery store. Why me?
So let’s break all of this down a bit.
1. Life owes you nothing. It’s unfortunate but true. We breathe and we feel and we live. But we make our life. It doesn’t make us.
2. When you want to give up and sit in the dirt, it may feel good for a minute, but, think about it. If you sit down and do nothing, you are stuck right where you are. You can’t get out of the emotion or pull yourself back together. Life will go on around you, time will pass, and there you will sit in your dirt.
3. There is always a way to have what you want in this life. The key is defining the end result and maintaining momentum. It is pressing forward past the brick wall you keep beating your head against. If I want a football team of children, I can adopt a football team of children. I would rather do that than having them myself anyway. What was I thinking?
Let’s talk about the how. How do you get past it all? You have to love yourself. You have to know who you are and, when you look in the mirror, recognize you! You have to let go of the things that you are unable to change. Release the hurt and sadness and want more for yourself than to remain stuck where you are in this moment. The people that love you really want you to do that. They see the great person you are and stand cheering you on in the race. Be thankful for what you have. I may not have my fairy tale, but, I have a beautiful life. I have traveled, learned a second language, laughed and loved, and created a great place to look at the stars every night. I am an amazing woman and I like who I see when I look in the mirror. Do not get caught in the moment you are in and allow future opportunities to pass you by.
You are loved more than you can imagine, and every day you wake up, you are given the opportunity to create a wonderful life.
Are you going to sit down in the dirt, or are you going to rejoin the race and let me cheer you on? The choice is yours.
Sometimes, in the course of that journey, we forget to love ourselves. We don’t remember that most important thing that makes the biggest difference.
I remember being in my late 30’s and realizing that I would not be able to have children. My mom, the forever optimist said, “Maybe there is still a chance. Maybe there is hope that it will happen for you.” I knew in my heart that the one thing I had wanted my entire life, would not be realized. For a while, there was an empty spot in my heart and soul. I was that crazy kid that wanted a whole football team. I wanted to grow up, meet the man of my dreams, settle into a quiet little village and spend my days baking pies and doing homework with the kids, tucking all those babies in at night, and then sitting outside, with my amazing husband, looking at the stars and enjoying the life and family we had created. That was my dream. It was all I ever wanted. Now, here I sat realizing that it wasn’t going to be that fairy tale. I didn’t know how to overcome the pain and sadness I felt or the sense that I was somehow less of a woman. Having kids seemed like the easiest thing to do but, it was a party that I would never have an invitation to.
I wanted to give up. I wanted to sit in the dirt and kick and scream because life threw me a curve ball that I didn’t expect. I was so angry. I was angry at God, myself, my body, and everything else I could be angry at. I even got pretty upset with all those damn diaper commercials and stupid baby food aisles in the grocery store. Why me?
So let’s break all of this down a bit.
1. Life owes you nothing. It’s unfortunate but true. We breathe and we feel and we live. But we make our life. It doesn’t make us.
2. When you want to give up and sit in the dirt, it may feel good for a minute, but, think about it. If you sit down and do nothing, you are stuck right where you are. You can’t get out of the emotion or pull yourself back together. Life will go on around you, time will pass, and there you will sit in your dirt.
3. There is always a way to have what you want in this life. The key is defining the end result and maintaining momentum. It is pressing forward past the brick wall you keep beating your head against. If I want a football team of children, I can adopt a football team of children. I would rather do that than having them myself anyway. What was I thinking?
Let’s talk about the how. How do you get past it all? You have to love yourself. You have to know who you are and, when you look in the mirror, recognize you! You have to let go of the things that you are unable to change. Release the hurt and sadness and want more for yourself than to remain stuck where you are in this moment. The people that love you really want you to do that. They see the great person you are and stand cheering you on in the race. Be thankful for what you have. I may not have my fairy tale, but, I have a beautiful life. I have traveled, learned a second language, laughed and loved, and created a great place to look at the stars every night. I am an amazing woman and I like who I see when I look in the mirror. Do not get caught in the moment you are in and allow future opportunities to pass you by.
You are loved more than you can imagine, and every day you wake up, you are given the opportunity to create a wonderful life.
Are you going to sit down in the dirt, or are you going to rejoin the race and let me cheer you on? The choice is yours.
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